7 Things I Wish I Knew About Dating In My 20s

16 set 2019
507 223 visualizzazioni

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There’s no rule book for how to have an incredible relationship. And that means that a lot of us (myself included) make tons of mistakes.
I’m turning 32 on October 5th. And as I look back on the last decade or so, I realize that I’ve done some things wrong. Which is why in this video I want to share with you 7 things I wish I knew in my 20s.

0:31 - #1: People change because of internal motivation.
2:01 - #2: Chemistry is a phase.
2:24 - #3: People who are fundamentally friends have the strongest relationships.
3:49 - #4: Duration is a bad measure of quality.
4:47 - #5: Conversation shouldn't have to change when he/she enters the room.
6:01 - #6: Never give up your friendships because of a relationship.
7:24 - #7: You need to show your work emotionally.
#Dating #CharismaOnCommand

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  • A golden tip that I learned the hard way: Don't be needy, no one likes people that are needy

    Jay TatJay Tat2 giorni fa
  • I’m 35

    Che AnarchistChe Anarchist2 giorni fa
  • about number 6...i always was on the opposit side. my friends always disappeared after finding a girlfriend, until they broke up. then my friends would come back like nothing happened. something that always pissed me off. i wish they knew about this

    TraxTrax6 giorni fa
  • we have the same birthday!

    Zara AnneZara Anne11 giorni fa
  • 6:39 - The realist thing I heard in this video, "I think that we IDEALISE 'Co-Dependents' in our movies and songs today". Too true! (And all this from a guy whose 32 but looks like he's my age - 21. 😂)

    Esethu TsoanyaneEsethu Tsoanyane19 giorni fa
  • I wish I KNEW about dating in my 20s.

    Keeley HassanKeeley HassanMese fa
  • about the culturl shock you mentioned I felt it in my bones as an Italian in Australia. Apart from the cuisine... oh god I saw horrors, the experience confirmed my opinion on english speaking countries educations (not so good) and I was puzzled by the fact that english speakers do not use hands in communication, like never! WEe italians are famous for our hand gestures and in facts not moving your hands while chatting/talking/etc is very weird. So everyone was weird until they had to present sth (like in a video or in class): suddently they were moving hands with little to no sense in relation to what they were saying ending up looking goofy to me. Why take up all that space?? that's loud! Taking too much space while gesturing gets you looking like a seller, an upset predicator or someone that has no idea of what is saying but he's desperately trying to prove their point

    A CA CMese fa
  • Bro! Your content!!! Super wise and down to earth and applicable!!... And then... Your donation... Super fan of you! I honestly hope we can collaborate in the close enough future. Best to you!

    Loto VazquezLoto VazquezMese fa
  • I’ll

    Ral OnyekaRal OnyekaMese fa
  • Ah we got a Libra Man talking.. I do like listening to your video's

    Brian HilstBrian HilstMese fa
  • Oh hey happy belated birthday! 2 days late D:

    Darius MauriceDarius MauriceMese fa
  • Love based on friendship - YES!

    Mariko the CheetahMariko the CheetahMese fa
  • 10 seconds in.. -what? You look 20. Anyway, happy birthday! Hope you’re safe and healthy.

    arfiana rsarfiana rsMese fa
  • Спасибо за твой канал на русском языке! Ты помогаешь людям! 🇷🇺❤️

    Марина ВостряковаМарина Вострякова2 mesi fa
  • His mouth is so huge it looks like he’s been annoying oranged.

    Sophie-Marie ThirskSophie-Marie Thirsk2 mesi fa
  • Thanks alot man I'm turning 20 in 6 months and I just realized that I want to achieve as many accomplishments as I can in these few months💙

    Fatm A.Fatm A.2 mesi fa
  • I'm gonna be 25 in less than a month. Never had a girlfriend. At this point I'm just being bored and am watching all the videos YT recommends

    Zed GPZed GP2 mesi fa
  • “Stay in the same city as them to maintain friendships” *moves to Brazil*

    CraigCraig2 mesi fa
  • I just want to date you./..

    King westKing west2 mesi fa
  • You look very young :D

    Kiri SeraphKiri Seraph3 mesi fa
  • Singles often give the best relationship advices :')

    Kah Yau LimKah Yau Lim3 mesi fa
  • 5:29 We have no idea how many relationships there are that ARE maintaining with a secret, because they're still secret. But I do agree, you should tell them, simply because it's ethical and the Cheatee deserves better.

    David EeDavid Ee4 mesi fa
  • Don't give up relationships for friendships either. Mind you, I'm not talking about just starting a relationship and deciding not to take it further because your friends don't approve. That's different. I'm talking about leaving a spouse of several years because friends told you to. Soulmates trump best friends everytime or it isn't real love to begin with.

    AcidDomeAcidDome4 mesi fa
  • If you were 26 and never dated a girl yet, how would you feel? Would you be worry?

    Serpiente anónimaSerpiente anónima4 mesi fa
  • I thought you were in your 20s 😅

    Chris SChris S4 mesi fa
  • when you said "If you cut your friends out , you will suffer" Everyone felt that

    Shubham Patil A-30Shubham Patil A-304 mesi fa
  • I see.. the main reason my relationship always broke wae number 7 😣

    IPunk alias PurnomoIPunk alias Purnomo4 mesi fa
  • nope stop lying ur definitely 22

    YENVIYENVI5 mesi fa
  • That feeling when you want to put a like, but you already did it. Twice

    MaxMax5 mesi fa
  • To be honest I feel like the last point also applies to literally EVERY romance movie I have ever seen😂 In every one of those movies there is a misunderstanding because they don't explain themselves (unless it involves infidelity) Also AMAZING video!!!! All these pains just make SO MUCH SENSE!! And to think we all make such silly mistakes😂

    Roshni. SRoshni. S5 mesi fa
  • I wish i know it when i was young😭

    Around elnidoAround elnido5 mesi fa
  • never dated in my 20s, just prostitutes, maybe this will come in handy for my 30s

    J JamesonJ Jameson5 mesi fa
  • Geez this dude has aged so well, I would’ve believed he was still 25 if you told me with a straight face.

    Joseph KusmerJoseph Kusmer5 mesi fa
  • Honest and interesting video. To me without a deep Emotional Connection between the man and the woman, you will not be friends after being intimate. It takes time and togetherness to become friends. It does take time and common experiences to understand a person's true self. #7 is interesting in how it is represented. I think what should be said is that in communication with women you have to understand it is Emotionally (Empathy) based. Look for the underlying emotional message, and if not apparent ask what she is feeling. Work on the meaning together before providing any solution, if you offer any at all. Being present and attuned to her emotions as a way to communication is what is important. Always take time in finding aspects of her state of mind (Emotions), be understand and allow her to arrive at what she is completely trying to say.

    Wind WardWind Ward5 mesi fa
  • I have a crush on my classmate I'm nerdy one but kinda cool and she kinda wanna keep our relationship secret that even I shouldn't know she likes me. she is a little taller than me. friends say leave her she's not for u. but I'm stuck, I can't forget her. I want some kinda relationship with her and she have a fake boyfriend too. I know this is crazy but I love her. I don't know what to do?

    FabTechFabTech5 mesi fa
  • 'date by vote' man who do that

    FabTechFabTech5 mesi fa
  • Thank you, i can so relate. We probably all had lots of pitfalls in that

    Alexander AnisimovAlexander Anisimov5 mesi fa
  • soo yr saying 2020 33 looking like this omfg

    Frost D.HFrost D.H5 mesi fa
  • don't tell if you cheat. Seriously.

    x zx z5 mesi fa
  • We have the same birthday \o/

    A'sa DickensA'sa Dickens5 mesi fa
  • This guy is 32?! Thought this was just a college student.

    Quinten De BruinQuinten De Bruin5 mesi fa
  • I don't think internal motivation is strong enough to change habits most of the time. You need to change the environment of people and literally condition them if you want any sort of change. Also happiness isn't the best measure of the quality of a relationship either, because you should be happy without them as well. This is a technicallity, but I would say a better measure is relationship satisfaction.

    Micha SengottaMicha Sengotta5 mesi fa
  • I'd phrase it "infatuation is a phase" rather than "chemistry is a phase". It's a little clearer imo

    JashaJasha5 mesi fa
  • Does Episoketren System really help to improve your soccer technique? We have read a lot of good stuff about this popular training course.

    Wilber SevernsWilber Severns5 mesi fa
  • Why does it matter? I'll never be accepted anyway

    Andrew KomanieckiAndrew Komaniecki5 mesi fa
  • Hi there, have you considered Troplusfix Dating Secrets yet? Simply do a search engine search. On there you'll find an awesome tips about how exactly you can get laid by hot girl. Why not give it a chance? maybe it can work for you too.

    Mike GibsonMike Gibson5 mesi fa
  • Skip to 9:14

    The Kickboxing CommunityThe Kickboxing Community5 mesi fa
  • What the f*** he is 32 wowww men he looks 24!!!!😨😨😱😭😭

    mimi mariamimi maria5 mesi fa
  • 9:10 done

  • Do you do Botox?

    James MillerJames Miller6 mesi fa
  • Dude i'm 21 and i look 32 and you look 21 and u are 32

    Ani rudhAni rudh6 mesi fa
  • Bruh you preach such Commen Sense,Love it!

    Jacob FeldmanJacob Feldman6 mesi fa
  • 32?!? Boy, I thought you were a teenager

    Pablo PerazaPablo Peraza6 mesi fa
  • Ugh I'm 24 and single for the last 2 years and I needed this!!!

    Mesha FMesha F6 mesi fa
  • You will suffer.

    ZtrueStileZtrueStile6 mesi fa
  • I think you are one of those incredible people who truly are here on Earth for a purpose.Whenever I watch your videos you share your life experience with so much honesty, vulnerability and what you teach - charisma😀. Big thanx for doing what you do !

    Tana FRJTana FRJ6 mesi fa
  • You remind me of Gaz from Geordie Shore 😂😂

    Rachel WellRachel Well6 mesi fa
  • Great advice

    Hunter GHunter G6 mesi fa
  • Damn you look good for 32

    MikaellaMikaella6 mesi fa
  • Great video. I agree on all of it. Have made many similar observations and had to learn some hard lessons with my ex-husband. But he is history now. I really enjoy how you put it out here so clearly. Thank you for your kindness and best greetings from Germany, Mike.

    Michael LodwichMichael Lodwich6 mesi fa
  • I think duration matters in the case of seeing if your still compatible after infatuation. I agree time isn’t always everything, but I also live in a state where people get married after dating for a month.

    kenzie chamberskenzie chambers6 mesi fa
  • "dating for 10 years". That's what people call a relationship, lol.

    The CaptainThe Captain6 mesi fa
  • I dont think some one in your situation and experience make you an authority to give advice. It's more opinion than knowledge or advice. This is not ment to be hurtful just a point.

    Ted LongeTed Longe6 mesi fa
  • 32?!!

    StoppelstobbeStoppelstobbe6 mesi fa
  • Dang! 32!?!? Boy you did not age since 21!

    Valentin Espinoza Jr.Valentin Espinoza Jr.6 mesi fa
  • These are all spot on, nice work.

    N CN C6 mesi fa
  • Umm I'm a major simp... But i can never get a girls attention like seriously i need help.. and this video really hlepss

    King DouchbagKing Douchbag6 mesi fa
  • It depends on how you view negotiation. I've been reading Chris Voss' book Never Split the Difference and his approach to negotiation is about empathising with the person's emotional state and learning to understand what makes them tick

    Silvia R.Silvia R.6 mesi fa
  • Amazing content !!!

    Daily UpgradeDaily Upgrade6 mesi fa
  • Jesus loves you. If you repent of your sins and give your life to Him: He will fill you with love, give you happiness in your life, and bless you. The next time that you feel sick or worried or scared, ask Jesus into your heart and your life will get better. Videos will never fill the void inside of you, but Jesus will if you give your life to Him. He will love you, keep you company, and answer your questions. He is real and a lot of the time He will speak to you through your conscience. God is love and everything good comes from Him. Everything good in the world comes from love. Romantic love, familial love, friendship, the love you feel for your hobbies, the love you have for your favorite music, favorite food, favorite movie, etc. All of it comes from God. Without love there is no point to life. It is what we all live for and it is what we were all made for, but the devil tries to ruin everything with fear, stress, worry, etc. Try to get to know God. He is truly worth worshipping.

    Shining StarShining Star6 mesi fa
  • Wait a second... If you think that one should break up when you're growing differently, why did you get married?

    The Power MovesThe Power Moves6 mesi fa
  • Love how this dude stays on topic and gets to the key points ! Great content

    Dave MuellerDave Mueller6 mesi fa
  • What vegetable did he eat

    AxelAxel6 mesi fa
  • He’s right about duration. Had my heartbroken recently by a girl I thought was the one. We spent 10 amazing months together and then she wanted to leave because she was unhappy. And once my head cleared up after the shock, I realized we were just way too different. But I learned a lot, had a lot of fun, and will always appreciate her having been in my life.

    TopFloorEriccTopFloorEricc6 mesi fa
  • According to psychiatrists, it’s NOT chemistry we go for. It’s familiarity.

    Cricket HopCricket Hop6 mesi fa
  • That’s so corny to approach a smoker like that. How about come from a place of love. Like I care about your health baby. Hopefully she divorces your friend. He sounds like a control freak.

    Crawl CrawlCrawl Crawl6 mesi fa
  • I’m a video gamer, I just choose someone and let them lead.

    Crawl CrawlCrawl Crawl6 mesi fa
  • Happy belated birthday bud!

    Rave N8Rave N87 mesi fa
  • Not knowing about dating in my early 20's and eventually having a bad breakup, helped me later on become a successful dating coach.

    PickupAlphaPickupAlpha7 mesi fa
  • I appreciate your humbleness and ability to never seem like you’re above your audience!

    Asher SoteloAsher Sotelo7 mesi fa
  • Goddamn, this guy really fuels my hope for this world.

    Even AarekEven Aarek7 mesi fa
  • I reeally need a man like you

    Лидия НиконоваЛидия Никонова7 mesi fa
  • Why the hell he dated someone that smokes, for 10 years! if it's a problem for him!?!? Like, I hate cigarettes, too & wouldn't be able to stay with a man that smokes for 10 years!

    Silva CleoSilva Cleo7 mesi fa
  • Hey hey you were in Costa Rica ?? Niceeee 👌🏽

    Francisco Brenes HerreraFrancisco Brenes Herrera7 mesi fa
  • Thank you for this. Made me realize a lot of things. I'm 20 years old, currently going through a break up from a 2 year relationship. This whole video made so much sense because it perfectly described my relationship with my ex. Wish i could've handled it differently but well, i'm glad i ended it.

    TheaThea7 mesi fa
  • great content!

    vanessa adrianavanessa adriana7 mesi fa
  • Hi! I have been semi-binging your videos lately but this one kind of hit home with me, especially point 5. I am only 18 and I don't have much experience with dating yet, but when I look at my grandparents I can easily tell what difference that 5th point makes. My grandparents on my father's side are not happily married, they only act like they are towards the outside world and I always feel like they are hiding so much. Meanwhile my grandparents on my mother's side are probably the most happily married people I know. They cuss and call each other names, but they never have to hide anything from each other and my grandpa frequently talks about how the day he met my grandmother was the best day of his life, and knowing how much of an honest man he is I can tell that he means that :) Thanks for the video and have a great day!

    Sam Van KanSam Van Kan7 mesi fa
  • Happy bday mi amigo

    Toe DevourerToe Devourer7 mesi fa
  • JESUS CHRIST ALMIGHTY you took everything I have tried to explain to myself and others and made it into a fairly accurate 7 point video. Where is your cheer button at? This man needs some pennies and dimes.

    Jaren HudsonJaren Hudson8 mesi fa
  • 32? Like the average of your physical + mental age?

    jarjarlove22jarjarlove228 mesi fa
  • What is Troplusfix Dating Secrets and how does it work? I hear many people get laid by hot women with this popular dating course.

    Jenny GrossJenny Gross8 mesi fa
  • 32 😱😱😱😱 bruh you look 28 or so

    Vinny MichaelVinny Michael8 mesi fa
  • 32 😱😱😱😱 bruh you look 28 or so

    Vinny MichaelVinny Michael8 mesi fa
  • 32 😱😱😱😱 bruh you look 28 or so

    Vinny MichaelVinny Michael8 mesi fa
  • wait you're 73?? bruh i thought you were like 3-4!!

    hellsgate700hellsgate7008 mesi fa
  • ITworlds recommended me this as soon as I turned 20 lol what

    That GuyThat Guy8 mesi fa
  • my first thought looking at the thumbnail.... is this guy not still in his 20’s??? bruh

    Gabi BelleGabi Belle9 mesi fa
  • Actually, chemistry IS essential, not talking about the "butterflies" that may not last forever, but that mutual sense of comfortable belonging.. Without this chemistry, it is not really possible for the relationship to be happy, healthy and lasting...

  • 32?!!!!!!!! Bro you look 20 years old MAX! Now I'm going to watch all your videos differently now that I got that on my mind! 😮😮😮😮😮😮😮

    Jonah wareJonah ware9 mesi fa
  • Great example for the 3rd tip he gave are Barack and Michelle Obama

    Wase eWase e9 mesi fa