How To Conquer Imposter Syndrome

27 mag 2019
281 590 visualizzazioni

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Today we are talking about self-doubt. The particular self-doubt that gets in your head, maybe when you’ve gotten a promotion, or you just started dating someone that is a bit out of your league. It says: “You don’t deserve this, you shouldn't be here”.
This is called imposter syndrome, and unfortunately, it can make you self sabotage the thing that you just got so you fall back to where you feel comfortable, even though you were deserving of what you had. Which is why in this video, I will talk about three behavioral changes to CRUSH imposter syndrome.

⏰TIMESTAMPS⏰
1:55 - Change #1: You will not overstate what you can do going forwards
3:32 - Change #2: Take honest stock of your past, then see if you can help
4:50 - Change #3: Focus on creating results for the people around you
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#SelfDevelopment #CharismaOnCommand #ImposterSyndrome
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Commenti
  • He is sus

    MHH.aljunaibiMHH.aljunaibiMese fa
  • My entire life is imposter syndrome. And I'm a straight male so its even worse. Help. Lol

    Charles BurhansCharles BurhansMese fa
  • This is the best video I've seen on this topic by far. You absolutely DO know what you're talking about, and you're the only person I've ever seen say something that really makes sense and give concrete solutions to solve the problem. The funny thing is these are things I always tell myself - don't lie on your resume, don't promise anything you can't deliver on, and make an impact - but I never thought of them as ways to fight self-doubt. Simplicity is best, and this is solid proof: if you help people, you're not an imposter.

    Adam SnetikerAdam Snetiker4 mesi fa
  • I am not even an expert at being myself. I only wish to become and expert at not dwelling upon my mistakes and use such downfalls in my life as potential learning experiences to make myself as well as everyone i care about sincerely happy in ways that are not selfish or deceitful.

    Winter Wolf's Lunar AffinityWinter Wolf's Lunar Affinity5 mesi fa
  • Good video, here's my summary: • Imposter syndrome = self-doubt that says "u don't deserve this / to be here" (e. g. after getting a promotion) • Can make u self-sabotage that thing u just got -> u fall back 2 where u where before (/felt comfortable) • World is full of imposters; having a healthy dose of scepticism towards ur own abilities is good (prevents overconfidence bias) • Mindset to deal with imposter syndrome: "They're not expecting me to be the best in the world. They're expecting me to help in the way that I say I can. If I do that, I'm not an imposter." • This mindset implies three behavioral changes: a. Don't overstate what u can do i. Draw clear boundaries over what u can / can't do yet b. Take an honest stock of your past, then see if u can help i. Weigh all positive against all negative feedback: What overweighs? Don't sweat the small stuff. c. Focus on creating results for the people around u i. People don't care about ur credentials; they want u to change their life in a positive way

    Jordan BelfortJordan Belfort6 mesi fa
  • Your face has so much character its interesting in a good way

    BlankfacemanBlankfaceman10 mesi fa
  • Generally love your videos but I have to say that you missed the target on this one. Impostor Syndrome is when you can do the job or you are worthy of the situation, but you still fear that you are not and that any day now you'll be discovered. For example: maybe you've been doing a good job for several years, but you still live in fear that sometime very soon, something will come along that will reveal that you aren't nearly as competent as your boss and coworkers believe you are. The fact that that "revealing event" never occurs doesn't diminish your unfounded fears. Another example may be that someone believes that they are not as interesting, intelligent, attractive, fashionable, as their group of friends. Even though that group of friends really like the person, they live with the nagging feeling that they don't deserve to be a member of this friend group and that soon, the friends will realize it. What you're describing is this video is more like "Poser Syndrome" (don't know if that's actually a thing) where you've, intentionally or unintentionally, put yourself into a position that you are not prepared for. Impostor Syndrome = fearing that you're not worthy when you actually are. Poser Syndrome = when you are pretending to be worthy or capable of something that you are not. PS: Impostor is spelled with 2 'o's and no 'e's.

    Entropy4AllEntropy4All11 mesi fa
  • Near the end of the video, why did you say “for Ben and I” instead of “for Ben and me”? (If Ben hadn’t been involved, would you have said “for I”?

    Kate GladstoneKate GladstoneAnno fa
  • Thank you. Very reasonable information.

    Michael ThompsonMichael ThompsonAnno fa
  • I hate imposter syndrome. Whenever it is that I'm about to start a relationship with someone, there's this voice in my head like "you sure? maybe you don't like her anymore. responsibility is scary, y'know...". Dammit. But anyways, you're welcome, Charlie.

    Seon19Seon19Anno fa
  • Sorry but I don't seem to understand tip #2.

    ClinkxsterClinkxsterAnno fa
  • If I see someone's life ,anyone who is successful in his life it is because👉👉👉 they have their 4 things Balance and got settled ,they are undisturbed with the outside world 1.Self-Worth 2.Self-Confidance 3.Self-Love 4.Self- Esteem Now I might not be much in this place but I have 2 struggle to get all what I have lost during any time wheather it is childhood or teenage time......I want to work hard to get all my powers back.

    Krishna PatelKrishna PatelAnno fa
  • 4chan is more honest than reddit. Reddit is about groupthink and consensus, not real quality.

    ギドラギドラAnno fa
  • Hello please you speak russian and subtiters

    Малик ЕрмухановМалик ЕрмухановAnno fa
  • Thank you so much for this. I often get in my own way because of imposter syndrome. It’s good to have these perspectives for self reflection. I really like your content. You have an answer for almost every situation. I also like how you address how you will be perceived with real examples.

    Brooke HollowayBrooke HollowayAnno fa
  • Great

    Carlos AndresCarlos AndresAnno fa
  • Lol at 3:58 you see Brie Larson « is this a personal attack »

    AthlèteAthlèteAnno fa
  • Video feels like it's talking more about self-awareness than imposter syndrome. Or is that the point of the video --- fighting imposter syndrome with self-awareness? Sorry, listening while doing laundry LOL

    Tim TTim TAnno fa
  • I have an issue where when I am successful in some application for something, I look back at the application documents and try to remember things I probably did good in an attempt to self-satisfy myself. But at the same time, I seriously feel like this is a very bad habit since I am not looking at the things I probably did bad or wrong that I should improve, thus not improving myself at all. I feel like I am conveniently cherry picking things that would make me feel better, which later turns into "I feel like a fake" or "full of myself". Would this count as imposter syndrome? Or would this count as narcissism?

    ifluxionifluxionAnno fa
  • NO one is "out of your league", merely more psychopathic than you.

    george mirageorge miraAnno fa
  • That's what YT Likes/Dislike ratio and Comments are for! My fav BL channel

    Zetsuke4Zetsuke4Anno fa
  • Nice

    Zetsuke4Zetsuke4Anno fa
  • 💙 I loved this, thank you for redirecting my thoughts about feelings lesser. You made feeling like an imposter a positive thing 💙

    Simply InspiredSimply InspiredAnno fa
  • Watched this video after being awarded a PhD / he tells me I’m not expected to be an expert. Damn

    John McGheeJohn McGheeAnno fa
  • When you said "Thank you" at the beginning of the video, I felt tears coming up. Have been working very hard for many years on conquering my imposter syndrome. Recently turned down a job with no challenge and where I would have been underpaid, because I realized I should authorize myself to aim higher. Thanks for all your videos, they help me in countless ways.

    MiiMiiAnno fa
  • I AM BOY FOKUS MY IDE TARGET AND SASARAN IMPROSIBE BUT MY IDE TO SELF TO MEMORY MAISET AND IDE TERGET I SLOW II PROSES AND LAST I AM QUSCION ANSWER.

    KEMBAR KEMBARKEMBAR KEMBARAnno fa
  • Your every video changes my view on myself and life. Thank YOU for this

    Vishnu VengadeswaranVishnu VengadeswaranAnno fa
    • ~ Glad you're finding our videos insightful, Vishnu!

      Charisma on CommandCharisma on CommandAnno fa
  • I feel like this is a complete misrepresentation of what imposter syndrome actually is. I like the message of how not to be an imposter, but imposter syndrome is not something to celebrate. It means a person doesn't know their own worth. For a lot of people it's a symptom of chronic gaslighting from a loved one.

    Ben MazurBen MazurAnno fa
  • Where's the podcast link?

    Alex LefkowitzAlex LefkowitzAnno fa
  • I was trying to figure out what this was! I thought it might be dissociation but now it’s clear and now I can finally deal with it!

    Sebastian CommonsSebastian CommonsAnno fa
  • I did not know this was a thing. People have asked me to do art commissions, but I did not think that my art should be sold. It's refreshing to hear this. I also do not go for those opportunities, because I think that I am not qualified. Ty for helping me out.

    Raynier33Raynier33Anno fa
  • Ey Bro your Videos are Amazing!, Best Charisma Channel on youtube tbh.

    Kid LiterateKid LiterateAnno fa
  • (Some honest feedback) Hi Charlie! Good video, well done. But I can't help but experience that since your charisma is so raffined and skillful.. In that way it seems idk, a little fake?.I very seldom express my opinion in comment sections on the web but given that you value honest feedback, i just could not help myself. Cheers!

    SeverinSeverinAnno fa
    • Maybe he's just been used to it for so long that it has really become who he is now?

      Abstract ScrotumAbstract ScrotumAnno fa
  • Thanks

    Ruben KeanRuben KeanAnno fa
  • When he said "thank you" I instantly felt so much better! 😄

    Heli ShahHeli ShahAnno fa
  • 4:40 I will criticise your approach here: Reddit is notorious for herd mentality, and you'll get more negative comments that are not upvoted than positive comments that are downvoted - you need to get feedback from more communities - as a guide, the feedback is indicative of what reddit felt, and not what society at large feels.

    Flake28Flake28Anno fa
  • i love this thank you!

    ratwah ;ratwah ;Anno fa
  • I would argue that a good imposter has more value and even surpasses the genuine article. In the attempt of becoming convincing as the real deal, the imposter must put in even more effort and learn to become the thing that they are emulating. Whatever flaws or imperfections of a genuine article would not be emulated, as those things are not a part of the general public's idealization of the subject. Ultimately becoming the idealized version of what they are mimicking.

    Tera StarTera StarAnno fa
  • That's some absolutely great advice. I think most of the time, we expect ourselves to be the best in the world at everything - and this can be detrimental to our self-confidence if we do not reach these self-inflicted expectations.

    Dr Suzanne Doyle-Morris, inclusiqDr Suzanne Doyle-Morris, inclusiqAnno fa
  • Jesus that's a big smile :o

    Brandon NicolasBrandon NicolasAnno fa
  • I feel like an imposter but that's because of my depression & anxiety disorder.

    Rebecca 88Rebecca 88Anno fa
  • Thank you very much for your thoughtful videos.

    Coach Nick HawleyCoach Nick HawleyAnno fa
  • I have Impostor Syndrome so thank you so much for making this video, it means so much to me.

    Morgan from K-TALKMorgan from K-TALKAnno fa
  • I'm so rich I can't even see my money. Do I have #ImposterSyndrome or Nah?

    Baj KhanBaj KhanAnno fa
  • Can you do one on making friends as an adult? It's not like school or college where everyone's priorities are really similar and everyone's life experience is really similar in that moment. I think that experience of having gone through something together is what turns a casual friendship into a real bond. It's so much harder when you don't have the one thing you are going through together like finals week in college. We grow up and we all have our own lives, and we all have our close friends or partners by now that we tap into for difficult situations. At this point we all also have our own priorities which are all different. Well...what the frick are you supposed to do when you move? All the new casual friendships seem shallow. How do you progress a platonic friendship as a mature adult without seeming juvenile or manufactured

    Beverly LeeBeverly LeeAnno fa
  • He has smile like Cameron Diaz

    NEON BRONEON BROAnno fa
  • Dear Charlie, I love your videos and tips, but I'd prefer you not blow a little laugh at the end of some sentences. Thanks

    Nhat NguyenNhat NguyenAnno fa
  • When you actually overtly shame someone on the internet for not being like someone else you are ASKING for all the ugly trolls to jump on your ugly bandwagon...that isn't proof you were right, it's proof what you said is ugly.

    i.e.Presentsi.e.PresentsAnno fa
  • Do liz gillies: her savage yet bored attitude and why everyone loves her

    Priv 6464Priv 6464Anno fa
  • Thank you for this!

    MudinMudinAnno fa
  • Another excellent vid!!

    Katelyn CorbettKatelyn CorbettAnno fa
  • Well this is me studying your videos, Doing what you teach us And sometimes i do otherwise...thanks to my anxiety!

    The Legend of AbdallahThe Legend of AbdallahAnno fa
  • Thank you so much and i love you!

    Gucci JangGucci JangAnno fa
  • Thank you for making this video. As someone who suffers from imposter syndrome quite severely, this really helped. Keep up the good work, dude :)

    Crowhaven Inc.Crowhaven Inc.Anno fa
  • I'm constantly wondering if I'm missing something, but I'm living my best life by far. Its tearing me apart and no one has been able to help at all, no one wants to listen but they all have an answer. This is exactly what I needed.

    Alice StormAlice StormAnno fa
  • *Is this a personal attack or something?*

    XmaestXmaestAnno fa
  • Love the honest and sincere advice! Definitely will be using this moving forward.

    Matt SantosMatt SantosAnno fa
  • Love your videos. Also, looks like you have more teeth than a normal human!

    darksidegirldarksidegirlAnno fa
  • Please do a charisma break down on jlo!!!

    Molly RiceMolly RiceAnno fa
  • I'm so glad I just found this video. Thank you.

    James PughJames PughAnno fa
  • I felt like this at my new job. I'm a long time retail employee going into a health care job. The kind of appearance and way that I talk to others has to completely change because I'm not trying to sell someone something, and I'm not at a place just to collect a check. So I feel insecure like I need to over come other peoples doubts about me.

    Ghoulie GhostGhoulie GhostAnno fa
  • I have struggled with this for sure at times! I appreciate the tip of focusing on helping in the way I can commit. THough oftentimes my role requires me to figure it out.

    unique Commoditiesunique CommoditiesAnno fa
  • I do really enjoy ur videos and ur attitudes and ur way of expression thank u

    ArminArminAnno fa
  • 0:34 Do you gain joy from my suffering?

    KirgoKirgoAnno fa
  • The ad before this video was some Nigerian telling me how I could get rich 😂😂

    johnjohnAnno fa
  • 0:30 Well i mean thank you but i dont know if i diserve this...

    Hoot lookHoot lookAnno fa
  • I’ve watched many videos and followed many people that do the same thing that you do but you’re literally the only one that I actually find helpful. Thank you so much for the content you put out🌼

    Johanne AldreteJohanne AldreteAnno fa
  • Really grand video :-) The only thing I think you could have perhaps added to give it more value was to include some info on why you may feel compelled to fall into the 'imposter' trap. Even if it's just to say 'this falls under the emotional management umbrella and we'll address that in another video'. When I look at any coaching video what makes the difference for me between 'I take this seriously' and 'I turn it off' is the extent to which they anticipate barriers and have techniques to overcome them. You do a great job though, and are well ahead of the competition.

    Ethel the FrogEthel the FrogAnno fa
  • please do Harvey Specter from suits!

    esfray44esfray44Anno fa
  • I never feel like I'm good enough. No matter in what situation. I don't feel like I've done enough with my life. I don't feel like I've had enough fun with my life. I'm 23 and I feel like my time is already over.

    Taytay QueenTaytay QueenAnno fa
    • Perhaps you're being too hard on yourself. The next time you think negatively, do remind yourself that you're only human. Every single person makes mistakes and it IS alright.

      Advitiay AnandAdvitiay AnandAnno fa
  • Great useful video but I feel like I needed more, more steps on how to really get over feeling this way as it is really life and work damaging. However thank you for you video it helps me make a real start on improving

    gallaxyquestgallaxyquestAnno fa
  • hwats up witgh the fps

    Egert AareEgert AareAnno fa
  • I think I’m in love with you

    Tia FayedTia FayedAnno fa
  • Just visualisation, believe and take action likes law of attraction, believe you can be anything... Likes arnold schwarzenegger

    AbrahamAbrahamAnno fa
  • Curious if you still don’t drink? Or do you think differently about drinking ?

    Jonathan TyJonathan TyAnno fa
  • Do you have a blog?

    life of denlife of denAnno fa
    • ~ Yes, we do have a blog. Feel free to check it out at www(dot)charismaoncommand(dot)com/blog-page/

      Charisma on CommandCharisma on CommandAnno fa
  • Thank you so much. This really helped me.

    CC CCCC CCAnno fa
    • ~ Glad you found it helpful, Christina!

      Charisma on CommandCharisma on CommandAnno fa
  • I love it! Thanks for posting this. Going to reevaluate my channel and make sure the advice I am offering is lagit and based on actual experience this way I am offering the best advice for people from true experience

    OBrienMagicOBrienMagicAnno fa
  • Thank you, Charlie.

    RodrigoRodrigoAnno fa
  • I literally found your channel today and I can't get enough of it. Watching every video of yours, love the way you see world and people around you. 😊 And even if you do say things that might be known to most - people always learn from examples, not just a phrase do this, or don't do this. And you give so many examples that are so relatable! Thank you so much for being here ☺️

    Ema ProblemaEma ProblemaAnno fa
    • ~ Glad you found our channel, Ema! Thank you for the kind words. :-)

      Charisma on CommandCharisma on CommandAnno fa
  • You are bloody adorable

    OutsideOutsideAnno fa
  • So... I've been procrastinating to watch this video for about a week since i found it. I watched it today, and i cried. I've been struggling a lot with my perfectionism and negative thoughts in my head saying that I dont deserve this and that. i always see myself as a fraud that i fear people might find out so I shut my self down and push people away, even though i know their intentions are good. But i just dont think i deserve their open hands. This video however, is that kind of help that makes me realise lots of things. Thanks!

    adilla afianiadilla afianiAnno fa
  • This was a really great video. I often feel like a bit of an imposter even though I run my own business and it's going really well. On number 1, it's great advice for people looking for a job and doing interviews. Anybody I've had to fire, let go or was generally disappointed in their work performance was due to promises they'd made and later broken on their interviews. Number 3 is great advice for anyone but especially for freelancers or people looking to start their own thing. Having a certification is great but much of the time it only means you'll be comfortable with the jargon and not the actual work.

    William GauleWilliam GauleAnno fa
  • I’ve started just trusting other people’s praise when it comes my way. It would take mental effort to doubt many people’s opinions of my qualifications. If three people at a party tell you you’re drunk, don’t drive home. 🤷‍♀️

    Sassy BadguySassy BadguyAnno fa
  • Actually the only thing I understand clearly is that you're a good person.

    MilnaMilnaAnno fa
  • It makes me think of Lucifer and Chloe...

    Myria83Myria83Anno fa
  • This video doesn't address imposter syndrome... it addresses how to not be an imposter. Those are two separate things.

    jolanar3jolanar3Anno fa
  • Hey Charlie! Thought about making a video about Jocko Willink and why people find him inspiring? Great video as always!

    Patrick RichardPatrick RichardAnno fa
  • Bruh, tell me this man does not look like Mia Malkova if she was a dude

    AlchemistX10AlchemistX10Anno fa
  • Both simple and amazing. Thank you Charlie

    Felix Rose AsFelix Rose AsAnno fa
  • [ or alternatively simply get used to being "that guy". :) ]

    :givccomojo. ::givccomojo. :Anno fa
  • will do it

    martin marigomenmartin marigomenAnno fa
  • Hey Charlie , love your videos . I just want to know when are you planning to release full podcasts episodes ?

    MoMoAnno fa
  • Helpful, thank you.

    Richard DuncanRichard DuncanAnno fa
  • Can you make a video about crushing an oral exam, even tho you know nothing?

    MultiKarapusMultiKarapusAnno fa
  • Thanks man, this genuinely helped me

    BassOwlBassOwlAnno fa
    • ~ Happy to hear that!

      Charisma on CommandCharisma on CommandAnno fa
  • I wish i was your friend. you're great!

    M CM CAnno fa
  • It sounds like self inventory ☺

    Joy GaudianoJoy GaudianoAnno fa
  • Great video! I discovered Imposter Syndrome a few years ago and learning about it helped me understand I wasn't alone feeling the way I felt when I found successes.

    Traveling LostTraveling LostAnno fa
  • Thank you man I really needed to watch see this today!

    TEETHTEETHAnno fa
    • ~ Our pleasure!

      Charisma on CommandCharisma on CommandAnno fa
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