How To Never Be Boring In Conversation

12 ago 2019
3 346 290 visualizzazioni

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Tom Hanks has one of the most captivating personalities in Hollywood. What’s interesting is that his charm has much less to do with what he is saying compared to how he says it.
So in this video, we’re going to break down 4 habits that make everything Tom says more interesting, and how you can use these to ensure that you are never boring in conversation, even if you don’t have super interesting topics to talk about.

0:18 - Habit #1: He uses a story gap.
1:45 - Habit #2: He inhabits the character/action that he is talking about.
4:02 - Habit #3: Tom uses dynamics.
6:02 - Habit #4: Tom includes everyone in the group.
#TomHanks #CharismaOnCommand

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  • Garbage. I'm not going to spend much time listening to some clown who mimes and acts everything he talks about. Tom Hanks is a star professional actor. He can bring it off (well ... to some extent, but I still found him irritating in some of these clips). These aren't conversations, they're performances.

    n43510n435103 ore fa
  • It depends on who you are, if you are in sales, you have to listen a lot............................

    Chivo RamirezChivo Ramirez6 ore fa
  • People automatically gives him so many other entertainers a pass. He is really not that interesting....he is a funny comedian

    Lydia ThorntonLydia Thornton12 ore fa
  • === very cool - thanks 4 sharing !!!!!!

    Tannrr SmiddyTannrr Smiddy16 ore fa
  • I am watching this during COVID 19 isolation. I may never be in a group of people again.

    Kevin HedlineKevin HedlineGiorno fa
  • 1 story gap: imply that next thing is surprising & deliver 2 inhabits character talking about (acting!) 3 uses dynamics: change extravaganzas to be big (a lil bigger than room’s tone) but not all the time (when what you say makes sense). Soft to loud and loud to soft (both needed in conjunction) 4 Include Everyone Into the Group (more people feel like the convo is for them) uses eye contact and give at least 3 secs to every person or side of the room

    Justin MarshallJustin MarshallGiorno fa
  • Only one problem with this video, Tom Hanks is boring

    Quokka PirquishQuokka PirquishGiorno fa
  • Tom used this technique with great success on Epstien island while "seducing" 12 yo girls.

    Eustace MullinsEustace Mullins2 giorni fa
  • Tom Hanks is another new has been.

    Carl BonhamCarl Bonham2 giorni fa
  • Tom Hanks is a fantastic actor. But that shows, the smiles in several accounts, don't get to the eyes. The talk show stories are practiced, it shows too. This may demonstrate his techniques well, but some men such as Bill Clinton is way above him in charisma and to add, have a sincere flair about them. There, Hanks fails in my opinion. Even Schwarzenegger as an example, is isn't perhaps an Oscar material, but he always seems sincere. Because he is. The character shows.

    Finnbogi Ragnar RagnarssonFinnbogi Ragnar Ragnarsson3 giorni fa
  • A very important nuance is needed here...this works for Tom Hanks because....he's TOM HANKS...any of us normal folks talk like this and we're perceived like lunatics. Status is everything.

    Jack SmithJack Smith3 giorni fa
  • At the end he is an actor, if you want 'charisma on command' you need to be a good actor not a good person.

    Greenbud ManoGreenbud Mano3 giorni fa
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    God FatherGod Father3 giorni fa
  • I would rather simply be my self than strategize during conversation. This kind of crap is ridiculous.

    Stan JohnsonStan Johnson3 giorni fa
  • Just be yourself.

    ajpendajpend3 giorni fa
  • You seem like a very nice lady, would you like to come over to my mom's house and we could have a sammich?

    Zack FreezeZack Freeze4 giorni fa
  • Yes Tom Hanks is always captivating and enjoyable to be around -- just as any young boys who know him --

    ACK PreacherACK Preacher5 giorni fa

    walter nevillewalter neville6 giorni fa
  • This is kind of funny. I was just thinking about how much Tom Hanks is such a bore the other day. He is a liberal democrat. What a shame.....

    John SteedJohn Steed6 giorni fa
  • After reading a lot of the comments here, no wonder there is confusion. I don't blame the commenters who don't view this as useful in reality. I blame the video. The points made in the video are all valid, but they are lost in the approach. Although I love Tom Hanks (in movies), this entire subject of having interesting conversations could have used different and more varied examples, not just one actor, and especially not focusing so much on his intensity. (He's over the top in these clips.) The education is here, hiding behind Tom, and is distorted by the whole approach to the subject matter. But hey, I clicked on it for Tom Hanks as much as I did for the Title. :)

    Danny WDanny W6 giorni fa
  • Yes, but Tom is an entertainer, he does this for a living. What do " normal " people do ?

    TheVagolferTheVagolfer6 giorni fa
  • Having conversations with people is the easiest thing in the world. All you have to do is ask questions about the other people and seem interested, most peoples' favorite subject is themselves.

    Ocean DropOcean Drop8 giorni fa
    • @Pasqual Di Ceglia that would be a challenge...

      reefprayer resinreefprayer resin3 giorni fa
    • @reefprayer resin But yeah, we ask questions about them and pray in a hope they will deliver a story like Tom Hanks does...

      Pasqual Di CegliaPasqual Di Ceglia3 giorni fa
    • Spot on! - ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People’ by Dale Carnegie

      reefprayer resinreefprayer resin8 giorni fa
  • you should apply what tom does

    TA MargainTA Margain8 giorni fa

    Rudy BRudy B9 giorni fa
  • cute

    Debra BoazeDebra Boaze9 giorni fa
  • Now downloading Tom Hanks...

    boi macboi mac10 giorni fa
  • Nice channel thanks!

    Grumpy Old WriterGrumpy Old Writer10 giorni fa
  • Has anyone noticed that Tom is not saying anything important?

    Alec VeselyAlec Vesely10 giorni fa
  • i quickly lost interest in this video when it suggested that Tom Hanks is interesting.

    99 ddmirror99 ddmirror10 giorni fa
  • How To Never Be Boring In Conversation - Be famous like Tom Hanks..

    Preben GjestangPreben Gjestang11 giorni fa
  • As opposed to the Cliff Claven, "It's a little known fact... " Technique of conversation...

    peterinbratpeterinbrat11 giorni fa
  • I don't think it's possible to fake these things, its natural.. genetic

    Organic MethamphetamineOrganic Methamphetamine11 giorni fa
  • This is why southern gentlemen used to start their conversation with "I do declare". It gets attention focused, so that people don't say "what?" causing them to repeat themselves.

    cameriqueTVcameriqueTV11 giorni fa
  • Be intetested in the other person, even if you really aren't.🤗😼

    KritikittiKritikitti11 giorni fa
  • The stock photos inserted are irrelevant, unnecessary, contrived and boring.

    TecloteTeclote12 giorni fa
  • Isn't Tom a child puncher?

    KbKb12 giorni fa
  • I love telling stories and my friends tell me how much they enjoy hearing them. I miss that. 😢

    Julie HartnerJulie Hartner12 giorni fa
  • If I have to think how to make myself more interesting before I speak, I’m already exhausted.

    MIRMIR13 giorni fa
  • What do I continue to watch these videos? I'll never use the tips they teach me

    BitchChillBitchChill14 giorni fa
  • Is it necessary that your charisma course is so expensive, while you have so many subscribers on ITworlds?

    Harald SchubertHarald Schubert14 giorni fa
  • "How to never be boring" is, unfortunately, a self-serving inward disposition when it comes to dialoguing with others. I would challenge, if people want to be engaging and memorable to others, take 'being memorable' out from among your motivations, engage others under the principles of charity and empathy in order that the 'other' becomes familiar. When others recognise interest 'in them' as opposed to their high praise being sought merely to buffer self-esteem, you 'do' become someone whom they recall -- because your dialogue is hinged on 'caring' about them.

    Emilio TorresEmilio Torres14 giorni fa
    • :o

      Heinner David Rincón CertucheHeinner David Rincón Certuche13 giorni fa
  • Step 1 - I find this sensationalism annoying. Just tell the damn storey i'll decide how good it is.

    Dorky ThorpyDorky Thorpy14 giorni fa
  • This is too much information for me to process. I think I'll just stay boring - it takes less effort. Am I boring you? Sorry.

    Gene MarsGene Mars14 giorni fa
  • Yes, say "I love children" right Hanks? By the way, where's Kappy?

    ROTTERROTTER15 giorni fa
  • its all true if you look like tom hanks, sound like tom hanks, smile like tom hanks, have the energy of tom hanks, think like tom hanks. However if you listen closer he is asking questions that say do you want to be involved in my story, if not he will switch on a dime.

    robert mccullyrobert mccully15 giorni fa
  • This seems like stuff that anyone with a decent personality would do innately

    Gas_Station GirlGas_Station Girl15 giorni fa
  • The reaction to any of these examples is "...why should I care what you're babbling about?".

    metamorphiqmetamorphiq15 giorni fa
  • Sounds like you're talking about the future president of the USA.

    Günther ThomsenGünther Thomsen15 giorni fa
  • Ham it up, use tricks, and always be "on" or no one will like you. If that's your mindset, happiness will eternally elude you.

    Dan LokemoenDan Lokemoen16 giorni fa
  • or...speak only when you have something to say that matters, but, start with something slightly off the current topic so people get over the shock that you are speaking and hear what you have to say.

    xra arguxra argu16 giorni fa
  • step 1: be Tom Hanks

    EJGPMEJGPM16 giorni fa
  • You missed the most important reason he is not seen as boring in the videos you use - he is a movie star. Also, every clip you played is with people who went there to listen to him. I don't know how you think this affects what you are saying in this video but I would be interested to hear your response

    Allan I.CAllan I.C16 giorni fa
  • The safest way to not be boring is to get the people you are with to talk about themselves. After all, that is what everyone is most interested in, of course you will be bored

    jody fresnackjody fresnack16 giorni fa
  • Yawn

    Carlos LopezCarlos Lopez17 giorni fa
  • Run Forest!

    wILLB DuhnnnwILLB Duhnnn17 giorni fa
  • Tom Hanks: Larry’s brother gets screwed! Wait! How did he get screwed? Isaac Kappy?

    wILLB DuhnnnwILLB Duhnnn17 giorni fa
  • Maybe you want to find someone who is not a satanist paedophile? Thx! :-)

    Acyuta Atipriya JambavatidasiAcyuta Atipriya Jambavatidasi17 giorni fa
  • Great conv starter for these puppets How's GITMO?

    Robert HartRobert Hart17 giorni fa
  • is it true he gave up his usa citizenship and left the country

    Ray WirthRay Wirth17 giorni fa
  • (2:17) Why is it when a narrator says _"Most people stay very flat in their faces when they speak..."_ a scene featuring Matthew McConaughey always pops up?!

    The Quiet RevolutionThe Quiet Revolution18 giorni fa
  • They’re called actors for a reason and it’s called performing because it’s not real behaviour in the main

    faithful02ufaithful02u18 giorni fa
  • Rule 1: look good Rule 2: be Tom Hanks

    watherby29watherby2918 giorni fa
  • Pedohank is great!! He uses his charm to lure small boys and girls.

    Giorgios CulofakisGiorgios Culofakis18 giorni fa
  • Tom is a consummate actor and performer. What he has learned and learned well over a lifetime is how to engage a listener/viewer. That's his profession, why we know who he is, and why we enjoy listening to and watching him.

    Glicksman1Glicksman119 giorni fa
  • I do this anyway and Ive stopped hanging around boring people ha ha I wouldn't send this to them cause they were mostly narcsisist and they would be affended .... Who else agrees with what Im saying ???

    Bridget MenhamBridget Menham19 giorni fa
  • You can't teach these talents. They are natural and innate to that person. I would think that if you tried to employ these techniques consciously you'd come off as fake or weird.

    wally123ishwally123ish19 giorni fa
    • Not at all. It's kinda like walking a tightrope between being Sean Connery or Robin Williams at any given moment. Unpredictability is the key...

      The Quiet RevolutionThe Quiet Revolution18 giorni fa
  • Look how happy he is he clearly loves what he does. Sure he knows how to tell a story but in general people who enjoy their lives are far more fun and interesting to be around than people who don't like the lives they lead.

    ZedZed19 giorni fa
  • For an introvert on the highest level, this sounds as likely for me to master as becoming a rocket scientist.

    jill wozherejill wozhere19 giorni fa
  • So, it´s real simple: just be a perfect actor with mimics and being able to shift into any person. thank you!

    ttk100ttk10020 giorni fa
  • So, are you selling your service based on using Tom Hanks as your live examples?

    Tom ThalonTom Thalon20 giorni fa
  • Whenever I move my hands when I talk, I create vertigo and the listener throws up

    cloudybraincloudybrain20 giorni fa
  • Tiring video. My suggestion: Make shorter videos.

    kulturfreund66kulturfreund6620 giorni fa
  • Tom Hanks? I can’t stand him 🙈

    Martin KaufmannMartin Kaufmann20 giorni fa
  • Speak from your gut and uninhibited animation. This works if your not on a first date in a restaurant!

    Dinorah DarbyDinorah Darby20 giorni fa
  • I have aspergers and i have almost no ability to naturally learn how to socially interact. Ive had to literally study how to behave and now pretty much nobody can tell i have issues with it. These kind of videos are so helpful for improving my social skills, and im sure that its helpful to many others like me. thank you so much!

    Paula StonePaula Stone20 giorni fa
  • i tried this at the bank to no avail

    Rings CirclesRings Circles20 giorni fa
  • Is this why so many people from the USA always shout, screech and behave like clowns? Are they learning over-expressive behaviour from videos like this? Many of us in Europe keep well away from grown-up children like this because their company, even if not ill-intentioned, is so wearing.

    FearcharFearchar20 giorni fa
  • you really shouldn't point at people, though. it's rude and can make nervous people feel more nervous. it's better to just use eye contact. if you want to gesture at someone, do it with your hand open and your palm up. it shows trustworthiness. trump points at people. ever notice how annoying that is? it's like saying "you there, YEAH YOU, i'm singling you out." don't point at people. a lot of us feel like it's passive aggression.

    roflmowsroflmows20 giorni fa
  • I don't think Tom is using the explained techniques on purpose. He is just being Tom Hanks

    vifkovifko20 giorni fa
  • Watched the video, tried these concepts, but they don't work. Screamed loudly at a stranger in an elevator, then whispered in their ear, followed by sporadic, maniacal laughter...definitely didn't work as in Tom's examples...

    razvigor andreevrazvigor andreev20 giorni fa
  • I understand how to use these tips I just don't care or have the energy to engage people. 🤷

    Christfollower LoveChristfollower Love21 giorno fa
  • TL;DR: To be as interesting as Tom Hanks, be more like Tom Hanks.

    Kathy HixKathy Hix21 giorno fa
  • Just cause Tom Hanks can do it, doesn’t mean I could.

    Joe PJoe P21 giorno fa
  • TH=Total shithead

    Michael BiskMichael Bisk21 giorno fa
  • Wrong premise : Tom is extremely boring.

    UnsalCSUnsalCS21 giorno fa
  • Pedophiles are not interesting 🤔

    sean fagansean fagan21 giorno fa
  • When you are THE STAR, whatever WORKS!

    Pierre Van DickPierre Van Dick21 giorno fa
  • It must be difficult to illustrate points when you have to keep your clips under 20 seconds because of the 2012 Digital Rights Management act.

    T DiddleT Diddle21 giorno fa
  • There should be unity to avoid being boring.

    Livon DiramerianLivon Diramerian21 giorno fa
  • Tom Hanks' opening line: "What's your name, little guy?"

    robotron17robotron1722 giorni fa
  • i frickin love the jackson clip.

    jon debbanjon debban22 giorni fa
  • The “ No BullSh!t “ opener always leads me to the conclusion that it’s Bullsh!t.

    Sylv anaSylv ana22 giorni fa
  • He uses his hands a lot to express himself.

    lisa hindlisa hind22 giorni fa
  • Great video and like the 3 second rule ~ basically being that if you're talking to a group you gaze at someone for 3- 5 seconds from the left and then the right and from the front to the rear whilst you are talking.This works especially well in a works meeting or when giving a wedding speech. These tecniques and so many others are taught at Toastmasters where members practice public speaking. This is an excellent way to practice and build up social skills in a non judgmental way because all members are trying to improve skills. You then motivate others and improve your confidence considerably allowing you to get better jobs. Membership cost is under £100 per year and Toastmaster clubs are all over the world.

    AndyAndy22 giorni fa
  • This is all good and well, but he has these stories prepared. If you don’t actually have stories because you don’t have unique experiences, then what?

    TheJeaneanTheJeanean22 giorni fa
  • IF you don't have the personality to be that way, you WON'T be able to be that way! I have an open friendly personality -- I can get into any group of people and "fit in" within one minute-- and it's just my personality !

    giuseppe3010giuseppe301022 giorni fa
  • All fascinating stuff that I do subconsciously to keep from being boring but now that I recognize it and see how well Tom Hanks does it I can improve while still not trying too hard.

    ChaseTrillChaseTrill22 giorni fa
  • Not being boring is not the same as being interesting. Most people watching this video cannot use these techniques in an effective way because, your not famous. In every scenario, Hanks is the center of the discussion, everyone is interested in Hanks opinions, thoughts and his life and everyone is motivated to become engaged in the discussion and his experiences. That’s not the same for everyday folks. Tom’s suggestions are perfect for Hollywood personalities, be superficial, self centered and a good caricature. In order to accomplish the techniques listed you need to be the center of attention. 1. Tell a story, believe me, unless your Hanks, Streep, or Cruise no one is ever interested in your stories. Unless your stories are relevant to your audience or have some redeeming value of interest, information, knowledge or funny antidote they are boring. 2. Inhabit the character your talking about. What Character will you play today? This has so many risks that it’s pathetic, we don’t play make believe for a living, were in the real world and connect with real people. In this example you could easily end up patronizing someone, offend them, mock them or simply embarrass them. While your intent is to bring life to a conversation it could easily be at someone else’s expense. As opposed to inhabiting yourself, becoming someone else or channeling others is not a recipe for not being boring, in other words don’t be a phony. 3. Using Dynamics is not an acceptable behavior norm in the real world. Oh, it’s great when your independent, financially secure and don’t need to worry about your image with colleagues or a boss. Dynamics is just another way of overly dramatizing the circumstance your in, or as we say in the old country...overacting. Here you run the risk of, again becoming a self centered caricature that seeks attention and approval from others. If your not Hanks or Clooney no one will laugh and you may even be consider you unstable. I get it, there are times you need to be expressive, just recognize the difference. 4. Include others in your conversation. This is the only suggestion that caries some merit. The best way to “NOT BE BORING” is to not make yourself the focus of the conversation. Engage others in the discussion and connect them by asking questions.... about them! We don’t all have familiarity with other because our lives are not on the front page of tabloids and we don’t do late night talk shows. In order to include everyone you need to engage them, and avoid the first three suggestions, nobody cares about your stories, be yourself not a character and don’t your not a movies star so don’t try to play one by being over dramatic in order to be interesting. This whole episode is a perfect metaphor for Hollywood’s elitist attitude toward conformity and ego. This perfectly illustrates “WHAT NOT TO DO” in order to “NOT BE BORING”. Not surprising it’s a Hollywood Story.

    Rollo TomassiRollo Tomassi22 giorni fa
  • Tom is very captivating but I worry about the children he has captured.

    RoverIACRoverIAC22 giorni fa
  • Sorry, but this is so boring,

    Rollo TomassiRollo Tomassi22 giorni fa